Dementia - Making the most life while we can.

Dementia - Making the most of life while we are here.

There's a happy point to all this, but first some background...
My parents have always been hard working people. Dad had a demanding job in the finance sector and Mum had various part-time jobs on top of being a full-time mother - always there for me before and after school. As most parents do they hoped to give me a life full of love, support, and success but always worried about whether it was ever enough.

It was always enough, more than enough, and I have led a great life so far thanks to them.

Fast forward to present day and an invisible eraser has been at work, taking Dad slowly away, blurring the edges of the man I respect and love. Unfortunately, it seems to be getting exponentially worse and his reluctance to do anything to counter the issue is not helping. Things are obviously hard for Mum as she cares for him on a daily basis.

It is hard to watch, and unbelievably hard to try and contemplate the impermanence of life, when the subject is your once 'indestructible' parents. I try to see the positive in life so when I went to visit and Dad would tell me the same things as the previous week, I would smile on the way home and think that I'd never be short of conversation because he would never remember what was said previously.

No matter how positive a spin I put on it, when you're sat discussing wills and Power of Attorney with the solicitors it all hits home. The reason I started making this book was because of some of the things Mum said, "I wish we could have done more" and "I'm sorry we had you so late, you should't have to be dealing with this" along with the daily reports that Dad is forgetting things more often than not. Even to a point recently where he could not recognise me in a picture.

No matter how much I explain to them that I'm happy, life is good and how I wouldn't have changed a thing about childhood none of it seemed to be hitting home. So I began to write a journal using one they bought me for Christmas which had been hand-made in Turkey. I split it down into sections to tell some of the moments in my life which I could remember, the positive lessons I had learnt and some pictures taken along the way. It starts with a section dedicated to before they had me so they can fill it in themselves; how they met, what life was like while they were courting and so forth. Hopefully that walk down memory lane will serve up some happy thoughts and reminders of why some 40 years later they are still together too.

I thought that maybe jogging Dad's memory in a positive way would bring him into a happier place, and hopefully they will also read it and see that I appreciate every moment in life especially all that they have done for me. I know I can never stop them worrying but to think that at least may make them smile.

For anyone with relatives suffering from any form of Dementia I hope you manage to find some solace along the way. Don't be afraid to talk about it, you may be surprised at the amount of help and support there is. Most of all I wish you happiness.

Namaste
x


Me and dad 2001

Me and dad 2016